My dad had a dream of living on a self sustaining farm. The spring before my seventh birthday, he bought a five acre homestead in central Illinois and moved our family there. We were surrounded by mega farms on all sides so it seemed to me as if we had moved to a small island in the middle of a corn and wheat colored ocean that stretched as far as the eye could see.
Our island was beautiful and I loved it. We had not just one, but two red barns, a brown milk cow named Daisy, chickens that laid colorful eggs, a weeping willow tree, and the most beautiful lilac bush I had ever seen. It was beside that lilac bush I fell in love for the first time. This wasn’t just a schoolgirl crush. This love seared my heart for life, and still burns in me today.
I was introduced to Jesus at the little church preschool I attended in Heyworth, Illinois. “Jesus Loves Me” was the first song I remember learning all the words to after (of course) “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”. I learned the song long before I started to understand that there was something, someone, who loved me more than my parents did.
The day my seven year old self fell in love was a beautiful spring day. It was warm and sunny, and I had spent most of it outside exploring my island. The sky was huge, cloudless, and infinitely blue in every direction, and I felt so small under it. The young wheat around the island moved like waves in the breeze. I noticed a lovely scent in the air and was drawn to seek it out. As I rounded the corner of the house I found our mature, twelve foot tall midwest lilac bush in full bloom. Let me tell you, midwest lilacs are nothing like the poor little puny ones that grow in the south! When in full bloom, a mature midwest lilac has thousands of luxurious, velvety purple blooms drenching each branch tip in bunches so you can hardly see the dark green leaves beneath. They are amazing.
I’m not sure how long I stood there staring at that lilac bush in awe. If my mom had looked out the window to check on me, she would have observed nothing unusual. But inside my surprised heart, my world had explosively expanded beyond my tiny little five acre island into something my young mind could not fully comprehend. I don’t know how I knew, but I was overwhelmed with the realization that this Jesus who loves me was the same God who created all this beauty. Everything I saw, felt, heard, and smelled, was created by this God who loved me. He was wooing me and this giant bouquet was a symbolic gift He picked out just for me. I somehow mattered to Him more than anything, and He wanted me to know it. My heart suddenly burned with love for Him and I felt like my little body would burst because there was no way it could contain a love this big. I didn’t have the words to explain what had happened, so I just didn’t tell anyone. Ever. Until now.
